Jelly Bean Love

"Everyday I love you more." 

Five simple words that possess the ability to infinitely increase; also it's the quote located on a picture frame in Zelda's nursery. 

My grandma gave me this frame as a gift; rectangular, solid black, with these five words engraved in white. I had the most difficult time trying to figure out what picture I would place in the frame. 

One day, while brushing my hair, I happened to look up at the ultrasound of Zelda taped to the mirror on my dresser. In this particular photo, she was 7-weeks old (in the womb). I had to chuckle because this happened to be the picture where She looked like a little alien jelly-bean :D; but it didn't matter, because that meant I loved her even more (*Light Bulb Flashes*). 

Got it! This would be the picture I would place in the frame! I immediately removed it from the mirror and placed it in it's new home; and boy, it looked good there! From there, it was placed in Zelda's nursery to ensure that I would see it every day, and to this day, it continues to sit; and you know what, my eye catches it each and every day. 

And by seeing it often, I am aware of just how much I am in love with my daughter. The little alien jelly-bean that sits as momentum in that picture frame is my flesh and blood. It took half of me to make her and every day that she grows, my heart will be there to love her that much more. The perfect frame for the perfect picture. "Everyday, I love you more." Zelda Rose, you are my heart ♥. 

*Note: To my Grandma Shirley! Thank you for all your love, creativity, "spunkiness," and joy! You truly are a remarkable woman and I love you, love you, love you! 

The Art of Motherhood

"(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer." 

-Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

I had to chuckle upon reading this quote. Any woman who has ever been a mommy can tell you that this is genuinely, 100% true! Though I have never read this particular novel (someday I might),  I thought this quote hit motherhood right on the nose. 

Zelda @ 7-months

As mentioned in earlier posts, I am the mother of a rather rambunctious, talkative, and delightful 7-month-old. Zelda is mine and my husband's first child and it has definitely been one of heck of a trip :D. Each day is filled with a new adventure; and every day, I discover just how much of a "job" motherhood can be. Mommy's job never ends. 

I can't say that I'm complaining. So far, this journey has taught me patience (lots and lots of patience); it has given me an even better relationship with my husband; and it has given me a sense of accomplishment and pride. Though times can get frustrating, I can honestly say that I truly love being a mother. 

It's times when my child reaches her tiny hand out for my face or smiles at me in excitement when I walk into the room that show me how truly blessed I am. I often ask myself, "Am I a good Mom?" which entices the question, "What would I be willing to do or give-up for my child?"

The answer to this is simple--EVERYTHING! I'm discovering everyday that a real mother doesn't stop to think about this question--she simply acts. I strive to be the mother that would be willing to go hungry so that her children can have something to eat; or the mother that works her fingers to the bone or even sells her own blood so that she can put food on the table. I strive to be the mother that remains the stronghold of her family even though she is crumbling on the inside, trying to maintain every ounce of sanity. A true mother doesn't have to think about what she has to give-up or do--she acts on instinct and she gives. I wish to be like this. 

You know, Jodi Picoult was right when said that motherhood is an on-going occupation, but to me, it's one of the best jobs any woman could have. I truly am blessed to have such a wonderful daughter, and I can only hope that I become the mother that God wants me to be. This journey isn't over yet, and so, time will tell.  

Note: Thanks to all the hardworking mothers out there that work round the clock to ensure their children have fruitful and enjoyable lives! You ladies rock my socks and I appreciate all that you do! 

Failure Is An Option

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.”

~ J.K. Rowling

I discovered this quote while "paroozing" through Facebook statuses today. Thank you for posting this Facebook Friend of mine :D. 

This topic--Failure--has sporadically popped up throughout the day and it got me thinking, "Why fear failure, when, like death, is inevitable in life?" 

This didn't become apparent to me until my recent go at playing Mario DDR on the Gamecube. 

Today marks the 7-month anniversary of my daughter's birthday (Happy 7 Month-aversary, Zelda--I love you!). I now truly understand just how difficult it is lose the baby weight you gained during pregnancy--It's not so easy :(. I have been trying these past 7-months to lose what I gained, but I have not yet proved to be successful. My sweet mother-in-law purchased Mario DDR (which stands for "Dance Dance Revolution") so that I could lose weight, stay with the baby, and have fun all in the same package. Let me tell you, if you stick with it, you can break a sweat; but my problem is sticking with it.

The game is simple. Dance your way through by coordinating your feet with arrows as they appear on the screen.

                     

As you progress through the game, the level of difficulty increases which means more arrows--a lot more arrows--to follow. It can get tricky. 

Often times, I have a tendency to refrain from doing something due to fear of failure; either that or I stop from failing completely in the long run. It's rather frustrating. 

My husband, who has deemed himself my "DDR Coach." Has been truly supportive. In today's session, there was a level that I became infuriated with because my feet couldn't follow the teeming flow of arrows and I was losing. In frustration, I jumped off the dance mat, said that I couldn't do it, and ultimately failed the level. I didn't want to continue because I was afraid of doing poorly and I was angry with my self for not doing better. 

I'm truly blessed to have such an amazing husband. He told me that I failed because I jumped off the mat prematurely instead of pushing through. Thinking negatively caused me to fail and I couldn't excel because I told myself I couldn't. I had to keep pushing myself to do better.

Failure is an option, but that doesn't mean that we have to choose or accept it. You can't get better at something unless you press on and push yourself to do better. It's like J.K. Rowling said (summed up), step outside your boundaries, live a little, and don't be afraid to try; otherwise, you've already failed. 

      To Ryan: I love you and thank you for being an inspiration. Thank you for telling me that failure can't take place unless I allow it to. Thank you for being my stronghold.  

The Fruity Lifter?

Don't you just love grocery shopping?

It's a time to spend some good, old quality time with family, a time to choose the nummy yums yums you will be feasting on in the week to come, and a time to watch some of your hard earned cash go bye-bye (but with a good purpose). As for me, this week's grocery shopping challenged my integrity and faith. 

Saturday is typically the day for families to load up the van and high-tail it to the local Winn-Dixie. And yes, that's exactly what we did. Ryan (my husband), Zelda, and I piled in our Grand Caravan and headed for the Winn-Dixie right up the street from our home to embark on a new and exciting grocery shopping adventure. 

Typically, we begin in the produce section and work our way up each isle, select what we need, and cross it off the list--that is, if we follow by my shopping method; Ryan's method of shopping tends to be quicker at pace and doesn't involve careful comparison of the items. Mine is typically slower and more arduous--but, it saves us money ^_^. 

So, as we finished selecting our items we headed for the checkout line and decided to use the self-checkout devices. This is typically more fun because you can say, "Hey, I'm my own cashier, and I get push the buttons and make things go beep >_< (at least this is my way of thinking)." Though it can be fun to scan your own items, it can also be frustrating. Sometimes, discounts are not taken off as they are supposed to be, sometimes the computer tells you that the weight is not correct for the item you just scanned, or that you shouldn't remove items yet. You can easily get flustered; and I did. 

It wasn't as much fun being my own cashier. On top of things, Zelda (who has currently been teething) was getting hungry and fussy which was making me a little more flustered. I had gotten to the point where I just wanted to be done and out. 

Finally! After a few more scans and beeps I had reached the end our buggy load...so I thought. 

As I filled the buggy with our purchased goods, I began to head out the door. You know, it's said that with good their is evil--you choose which side you are on. As I headed out the door, I noticed that there were two bags of fruit--nectarines and pears--that I neglected to scan. I stopped briefly and said to myself, "Aww, don't worry Tab; it's just a few pieces of fruit. They're not going to notice." Immediately, I shook my head at this thought and was ashamed of myself for even thinking that. I did a "U-ey" for the door and headed back for the self-checkout line to purchase the almost stolen fruit.

Upon doing this, I felt as if I had accomplished something great. Though I could have easily gotten away with $3.00 worth of unpaid fruit, my heart and conscience would not have let me live it down. Other's may not have seen me, but God did; and that is all that matters. Integrity is doing the right thing regardless if others are watching you or not. A day full of grocery shopping proved be a test of integrity. Oh the joys of grocery shopping! :D